Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Marriage is Hard

I know I was told before we were married that life wasn't always going to be easy.  I also know that I just took that information and filed it away without ever giving it much thought.  Well, I have been thinking about it a lot lately.  As much as I love hubby, marriage definitely takes a lot of work to make it survive.  The honeymoon is definitely over and now reality is setting in.  There are a few areas that we are having to work harder on now than we did in the past.

When couples are dating, life seems so good and easy.  Both parties are on their best behavior and the electricity somehow make the problems seem non-existent.  While dating, you get to focus on the fun and kind of pretend the real world doesn't exist.  I wouldn't trade that time I had for anything.  But, I also wouldn't trade what we have now for anything.  During this time, it is showing me what hubby and I are made of.  What I am finding is that we are made of perseverance.  While it isn't always easy, we aren't willing to give up on each other.

Something that is really hard right now is communication.  We aren't doing a very good job of communicating with each about what we are thinking and feeling.  The odd things is that we can't communicate about the unimportant things like what to eat, what hotel to stay in while on vacations, etc.  We are pretty good about the important things in our lives.  I want to contribute this communication barrier to just being so busy and tired with school and work.  But, we need to focus on being more patient with each other when trying to communicate.  Instead, we just get mad and upset with each other.  I'm sure this is normal, but it's so extremely frustrating.

Here are a few more things we are struggling with right now:
* patience
* compromise
* attitude and tone we take with each other

While this sounds like everything is bad, when I really stop and think, it really isn't.  To me this is just another phase as we grow in our relationship with each other.  Before, we may have just ignored any type of conflict and now we are really trying to work through them.  I feel confident that we are going out on the other side with a stronger relationship.  I know we can't do it alone, but with a lot of prayer we'll make it!


  1. I felt the same way during our first year of marriage (I know this isn't your first year). Everyone had told me that marriage was hard and I just shrugged it off. Well, we had some issues (if we're being honest, major issues) our first year of marriage and I thought I'd never make it through some days. It was tough! But, we survived it and we're better for it now. After that first year, our "battles" don't seem near as hard or big. I'm SO thankful for that!

    Keep your head up - I know you'll make it through! If you ever need to talk or vent or want to hear my story, you know how to find me! :)

  2. Marriage is, indeed, hard. Perseverance brings rewards though - I promise. Especially if you determine not just to be married, but to be happily married.