I feel like I have been turning a corner in the last couple weeks. It was a corner that I wasn't even aware was there. I am feeling like for the first time in a while everything is going to be alright. There really are good times ahead.
I guess I have been in a funk. Some people may want to call it a depression or anxiety. Whatever the name for it is, I don't have those bad, oppressive feelings anymore. I feel like a fog has been lifted. I know a lot of the problems came from stress. I was stressed over our financial situation. I was stressed from both of us being in school. I was stressed over the future. I was stressed about hubby's job situation and the impending loss of his job. Mainly, I was stressed from a lack of faith.
While our problems haven't been completely solved, I don't sit around worrying about them near as much. I have faith that our situation will be worked out according to God's will and I am making an effort to listen to his will. Hubby's new job really came at the perfect time, His time. This job has eased our financial burden and given hubby experience so that hopefully he will find a teaching in NWA and we can be together again. If that is not part of the plan, we will monitor and adjust like all good teachers do.
It is so refreshing to not feel uptight and about to burst into tears at any moment, which is how I spent most of October and November. We have adjusted to our new schedule and really cherish our weekend time together. While I did take medication for a short period of time to help me get my emotions under control, I no longer need that and am just feeling so much happier.
I spend more time reading my Bible and talking and praying to God. I am just so amazed by his power and grace. I truly believe that I am never alone. I don't have to go through the dark times alone and I don't have to go through the great times alone. That is such an amazing feeling.
If I'm being truthful, I also think my new effort at exercising is helping. While I don't enjoy doing it, I do enjoy the feeling I get when I am finished. I have accomplished something. I never have been and still am not a runner, but I do run/jog and feel proud for every little bit of improvement I make. Life is looking up and I know there are still so many good things to come.
I'm SO glad you're feeling better. And I seriously need to start exercising, I keep hearing how happy it makes people!
ReplyDeleteYay!! You should feel good about your accomplishments! We know we are never alone, but when we can truly get it (and I think I'm still a ways off from this, really) what a difference it makes. This is good news!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're feeling better. I know how it is to feel like you could burst into tears at any given moment - it's not fun. Truth be told, I've been like that at different points throughout the last 4 years. I'm going through one (off and on) since October myself. Mine, however, has to do with relationship issues that just aren't fun to deal with at all. I'm glad that you're seeing the light and that you're also enjoying exercising now! (Somewhat, atleast, right? ha) I'm so proud of you!!
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