Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Letting Go

I look at the title of my blog, "Journal of Our Blessed Life" and I am really disappointed in myself.  Even though I know I am blessed and I can verbalize it, I don't always live like I believe it.  One of those times would be right now.

I look at the time on the computer and it says 12:32 AM.  I am still up working/playing on the computer instead of being in bed with hubby asleep.  Why?  I'm not really sure.  I know we were kind of upset irritated with each other.  The irritation stemmed from us being stubborn with each other.  Instead of letting go of the irritation, I dwelled on it and in my mind made it something much worse than it is.

I pouted, wouldn't speak, and went to another room.  Real adult-like, I know!  This was almost 3 hours ago.  Now I must pay the consequences of my decision.  Those consequences include: a bad mood, a lack of sleep, and complete frustration with myself.  I will continue to deal with these consequences throughout the day.

Things would have been much simpler if I had just let go.  Hubby would have/was willing to let go so that we could have a good night, but I wanted no part of the compromise.  I'm not sure why.  This is not the kind of person I want to be.  I don't enjoy being stubborn and rigid, so why do I do it.  It is a definite weakness I have.  I need to make the choice to stop.

Hubby and I together have been making an effort to read the Bible more, attend church regularly, and grow deeper in our faith in preparation of growing our family.  I do these things and yet I seem to forget the kind of person I want to be the minute things don't go my way.

Wow!  That was a big realization for me.  I am still selfish and child-like in so many ways.  I pray that God will help to overcome the type of person I am and help me in my journey to becoming the type of person I want to be.  I need to start with the ability to let go of the small, inconsequential things.


  1. You're going through a growing pain! Every marriage has them. Hugs!

    btw, for some reason my google reader hasn't let me know that you've posted - I saw the link on FB. I'm gonna have to fix that!

  2. What a wonderful post, Lorrie. Very cool of you to share. Congrats on what sounds like, a very blessed life indeed.


    An old elementary pal.

    P.S. Is blogging not the best?!

  3. I am going to send you an email later...I wanted to thank you for your comment today. It was so encouraging! The other day my aunt posted on my FB wall and told me the date I had last blogged and basically said,"Get to writing!" :) It's nice to know people actually give a hoot what I write and what is going on with us. :)
    So, I'll write later when I can give better attention to what I want to say. :)